From Cleveland To Cleveland and Back

August 2017

It is wonderful to have Lafe home.  I look at him every day and marvel at the man he has become.  And, then I look at him and blink my eyes and look to see if the boy he was will emerge and it was all a dream.  But coming back to Ohio with him solidifies the man he has become and I can see where and why it is so.  His actions and thoughts match the spirit inside him making his soul one with his body and spirit.  I’m soaking in everything Ohio right now.  

We turned over the itinerary of the trip to Lafe, telling him we would go wherever and whenever he wanted to go.  It was fun to watch him stress over which of the places and people we would visit and when.  Not having been to Ohio, I think of the countryside and the architecture and the history.  Lafe, having been to Ohio, thinks of those things as second nature.  He thought of the people he taught, the people he grew to love and how to connect with them and nurture them.  He carefully thought of those that needed nurture and made arrangements to meet them.  

As soon as we landed and made arrangements for the car, we drove into inner city Cleveland, in the Lakewood District, and went to his apartment, the one on the street where drug deals went down daily and people were shot and little girls kidnapped and ravished.  The street looked perfectly normal when we arrived.  How could things like that take place right before your eyes?  A member lived on the end of the street.  Her little boy was on his bike when we drove up.  He recognized Lafe immediately, even though it had been months since he had been there, and came up and gave him a high five.  His mother was on the street corner.  Lafe walked down to meet her.  Now that he is not a missionary, he can give them a hug of greeting.  It was sweet to see that happen each time we met someone.  While he was talking to her, a BMW drove up with the father of her boy, and a drug deal went down while he was standing there.  But, it was matter-of-fact and the car drove off.  She came down and talked to us.  Inner city slang and language.  She kept apologizing for her language, after she realized what she had said, and then continued to talk to us.  As we drove off, Lafe saw one of the street corner men, Sonic by name, and he stopped and ran up to him.  The man recognized him.  They exchanged Instagram monikers and Lafe has had a good dose of inner city Cleveland every day that brings smiles to his lips.  

We made it to our AirBNB, bed and breakfast, house at 11:00 that night.  It was a quaint little house, in a small town named Wellington that Lafe had never been in before, but that was quintessential Ohio.  The hosts were delightful people, who had filled the house with the history of their family, since his parents had lived in the little house, a mother-in-law type house next to their normal home.  Pat and I have been out walking/running every morning in the neighborhoods, admiring the lawns, the houses and the feeling of the community.  Since it had a full kitchen, we bought some breakfast food, Cream of Wheat, and ate before we left.  

Saturday was filled with visits to Toledo and Sandusky.  I couldn’t get enough of looking at the agriculture of the state.  It is beautiful.  None of it is irrigated.  There are fields after fields of alternating corn and soybeans with some alfalfa mixed in for good measure.  I couldn’t figure out what the soybean crop was when we first started driving.  But, after asking Siri, my smart phone told us that the main cash crops of the state were corn and soybeans.  I stopped and walked into a field and, indeed, found a bean leaf with a pod growing that I can only assume will turn into soybeans. 

But, as I said, Lafe was not interested in the agriculture of the state.  As we arrived in Toledo, he directed us to a trailer court where a mother, who had diabetes and had lost her leg to a diabetic ulcer, lived and nurtured her two granddaughters, ages 11 and 15. Lafe taught the two granddaughters and was happy to see them baptized.  One of the girls just returned back from girl’s camp.  Next door lived her daughter and a grandson.  Lafe taught and baptized the 11-year-old grandson.  He was so excited to see Lafe.  He gave him a big hug.  Now that Lafe is not a missionary, all the mothers and grandmothers could give him a hug of appreciation that was banned as a missionary.  Pat and Lafe had decided before we left Spanish Fork to take a ‘present’ with us to give to them.  Pat has her own Deseret Book in our closet where she has stored the things she found on great sales for next year’s Christmas and birthdays.  She pulled things out of the closet and Lafe matched them to the families we would be visiting.  You could see how closely Lafe watched the nuances of body language and asked just the right questions to ascertain how the members were doing.  We weren’t in a hurry.  We talked and introduced and talked and watched Lafe interact with these people that he genuinely cared for then and now.  The young boy loved history and cerebral things.  His mom had purchased a keyboard for him to learn some piano.  But, it doesn’t happen magically and he wasn’t sure what to do with it, even though it had been in the trailer for several months.  I sat down with him and taught him how to play chopsticks.  When he finished and could actually play it, he was excited to show his mother.  His Mom had been reactivated when her son was baptized.  It was fun to see how the Mom was trying to change her life in order to help her son.  

We left from there to visit another mother and son.  This was a sad one.  But, she, too, was so excited to see Lafe.  Her husband was in jail.  He has schizophrenia and was in a mental health crisis when he was arrested.  And, since he was mentally unstable, he couldn’t answer the questions very well.  And, now she is trying to take care of two cute little children, one boy who is seven and a nursing toddler.  In addition, her car has broken down and it needs a new alternator.  She has a desire to go to the temple.  But, with the stress of the jail and no income or husband to help, she started smoking again to relieve the stress.  And, since the car is not working, she has no way to get to church.  Lafe talked to them about what they could do.   As we pulled into her yard, the missionaries were just leaving after being there to support her.  It was so sweet to see Lafe interact with the missionaries who were trying to carry on his work.  He talked to them and made sure they were doing the things they needed to do, seeing the people they needed to see and keeping up on his contacts.  The next day, at church, Lafe made an appointment to meet with the Bishop to give him an update and make sure the mom had some church support.  

We left Toledo and traveled to Sandusky where Lafe’s second Mama, a 47-year-old black woman, was waiting with her 14 children and at least 4 grandchildren, for her ‘son’ to come.  The young five-year-old was waiting on the lawn, anxiously running back and forth, for Lafe to come.  He ran and jumped into his arms.  He just couldn’t wait to play with Lafe again.  Charise, the mother, gave him a motherly hug.  We spent almost three hours at their home, from late afternoon to dark.  She had order in her home, although with that many bodies in one smaller house, it was orderly chaos.  This is the family that lived in Cleveland where there were nightly shootings and crime.  They were in a better place.  The girls pulled right up next to Hannah and started to comb her hair and braid it.  The boys were jumping on Lafe.  I ended up giving them all ‘sack of grain’ rides and airplane rides for about 30 minutes.  She had the kids organized as to who was cooking and who was cleaning.  They were finishing up their laundry.  Such an enjoyable night.  They gave us all hugs as we left.  

In order to see everyone he wanted to reacquaint himself with, he planned two sets of church meetings for Sunday.  We started out in Lakewood, where we attended just Fast and Testimony meeting.  Of course, many people did double takes as he walked in.  Almost everyone would say to us, “He was an outstanding Elder.  We really liked him.”  You could see the reciprocal love emanating from Lafe.  He bore his testimony at each church meeting.  You could see his concern for the people as he still had the mantle of missionary about him as he bore a testimony that would strengthen them and teach them.  After Lakewood, where he again gave final instructions to the elders that were there, we left for Toledo to attend the three-hour set of meetings.  

We arrived as the Sacrament was being passed.  And entered the meeting after the Sacrament portion was finished.  As we sat down, three young women, the row ahead of us, looked back and started whispering.  As Lafe again went up to the pulpit to bear testimony, there was an audible gasp from some of the children of the families where they ate and planned for their investigators.  ‘Elder Frandsen is back.’  We again watched as the members congregated around him, expressing their love and admiration for him.  I went to Sunday School while he met with the Bishop to discuss his recent converts.  Mom and Hannah went to Relief Society to hear the lesson of the member who invited us over for dinner while Lafe and I went to Priesthood meeting together.  It was good to associate with the Saints in Toledo.  Pat couldn’t quit saying, ‘Holy Toledo!’

The Bolsters

After church and before dinner, we left and went to visit one of the salt of the earth in Ohio.  He and his wife are not members of our church but exhibit the goodness that comes from believing in the Book of Mormon.  John and his wife are members of the Community of Christ (the old RLDS) and actively serve in their Priesthood, him being a High Priest and her an Elder.  They befriended the elders some years ago and had the elders over for dinner every Wednesday.  He also had an ownership in a Chinese Restaurant in town and allowed the elders to stop for food when they were really hungry.  You could tell that Lafe had bonded with them.  He knew about them.  He cared about them.  In fact, he had taken them to the Kirtland Historical sites and toured with them. They ended up buying us our discount tickets (we paid them back) through their credit union so we could go to the ‘largest roller coaster amusement park in the world’ the next day.  There is something special about people who volunteer and serve others and that try to follow the teachings of Christ that just make you feel good being around them.  As Mom and Lafe were picking out presents to take with them, they pulled out a very nice Christmas book, about Jonathan Toomey, that Lafe decided should go to John and his wife.  When they opened it, the look on their face was one of incredulity.  They both looked at the book and said the recognized it, but couldn’t place from where.  The next day when we stopped to pick up the tickets, he told us they realized it was a book that was read in their congregation at Christmas many years ago that had fond memories for them.  Now, they would associate those fond memories with Lafe.  

Lafe’s wonderful Sonya was baptized in Toledo.  But, she was struggling.  Since being baptized, she and her family have experienced adversities that are reserved for those Satan is trying to discourage, who can become a threat to his kingdom.  She developed debilitating back pain, had a surgery with complications following the surgery.  Her husband’s work has been downgraded twice, causing them to be financially insecure.  He has become despondent and negative about the church where before he was supportive of her new found faith.  She was so cognizant of his feelings that she didn’t respond to Lafe’s requests to have us come to her home to meet them, this despite Pat’s having communicated with her multiple times.  However, she was still in touch with the two women whose families we were meeting for dinner.  After dinner, and before leaving town, we drove over to Sonya’s house and Lafe went up to the door by himself with a present for them.  She answered the door and was so happy to see him.  

The Mangum's

The Regan's

The Ethington's

We finished out the Sabbath by having dinner with one of the families, the Mangums, who invited the Regan’s to visit with us.  The Regan’s had the missionaries over for dinner before, so they just came for dessert.  But, the kids of the family were excited to see us, especially the 17-year-old girl who sat next to Lafe and talked to him.  Such good people.  And, doing such good in the world in that area.  Then we stopped to visit another family.  The Ethington kids were the ones who gave the audible gasp when Lafe went up to bear his testimony.  They called Lafe’s time the ‘month of baptisms’ because he was at their house each week planning another baptism.  Sister Ethington was in charge of the baptismal clothes and doings.  The little girl in the family made us special cupcakes, in honor of Lafe that she had waited all day to share with him.  We were honored and so happy to see their love for him.  

Lafe had a chance to serve in the country.  We spent Monday driving to Lima, Ohio and the surrounding area, including Delphos where he lived. It was a 2-½ hour drive one way.   It is in the middle of the great Ohio valley, with its lush farming areas.  They drove a truck while they were there.  He showed us the road where the ‘redneck’ elders drove down the street in their truck, picking up the clothes of one of their investigators, stopping at gas stations to see if anyone had seen the naked lady running down the streets.  We drove by the church.  We stopped to meet Chet, his elderly baptism who just threw his arms around him when he opened the door.  The ward mission leader, who went out with them weekly to teach, met us at Chet’s house.  The house was old, filled with a life’s worth of collections.  Chet’s health is precarious, with diabetes and COPD requiring oxygen.  Hannah was especially taken with Chet’s dog, which obviously had fleas or some such sort of problems as he was scratching himself the whole time we were there.  Hannah begged to let us take the dog to the vet.  Of course, there wasn’t time.  

After visiting Chet, Lafe took us to another member’s home that had the missionaries over every Wednesday for dinner.  He is attending church every day with his stated desire to receive his temple blessings back when he can.  You could see Lafe’s playful nature with him.  He is a collector, and has his collections very well organized.  He has original Star War’s figures and many Lego star wars scenes.  He has photographed all the local cemeteries and has them stored in order.  He has done much family history work, and has files with all his original work.  And, he has a CD collection that is alphabetized.  Lafe found out that his son used to teach him by switching CD’s around so that they were no longer in alphabetical order.  So, Lafe started doing that same thing.  And, while Brother Baber had gone into the other room to get something to show Pat, Lafe quickly changed a couple of CD’s around.  You could tell that Lafe was accepting of Brother Faber and trying to encourage him on his way back.  We finished with a wonderful ice cream treat.

Tuesday Lafe, Hannah and I went to Cedar Point, with its 28 roller coasters, to spend the day while Pat stayed at our bed and breakfast to work on some computer projects.  We came home tired and sun burned, having walked 10 miles during the day back and forth.  We cooked up steaks, baked potatoes and salad and ate on the outdoor patio that faces Lake Erie.  Hannah’s feet and legs objected to her choice of footwear while we were there.  As we were just enjoying ourselves, Hannah took my arm and said, “This is just what I needed.”  We are so glad we were able to take her with us.  She was certainly part of Lafe’s formative years and it was good for her to be with Lafe.  And, it was good for Lafe to be with her.  He is fiercely supportive of her, and fiercely upset with Jesse.  He wants so much for Hannah to be back in a good place with him, one that he preached and taught and saw people change and become peaceful and changed through the merits of Christ.  I think there was some softening on both sides of the aisle.  While we were there, some of the divorce details were being worked out.  And, I surprised myself by how fiercely I also defended Hannah.  I know I need to repent of the some of the things I thought and said concerning the situation.  But, being in the birthplace of the church, and in the very same rooms where the Father and the Son stood, softened my stance and I think is letting me heal in that very same sense.  The gospel is for all ages, regardless of our standing or previous experiences.  The basic principles of the gospel, faith, repentance, renewal of our baptismal covenants with heeding the promptings of the Holy Ghost are imperative no matter our station in life or our age.  I’m thankful for your teachings in this regard.  

We ended up our trip with the Kirtland area, Lafe’s first area.  Wednesday morning we met Doug and Jessica, Lafe’s first investigators, who are actively working with the missionaries and working toward entering the temple for their endowments, for brunch.  They are a fulfillment of the scripture where they say ‘Oh how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings; that publisheth peace; that bring good tidings of good; that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, They God reigneth.  Doug and Jessica are so thankful for the peace Lafe brought into their lives.  Doug has been doing his family history research and found out that he is related to Joseph Smith.  He is a literal fulfillment of the prophecy that the ancestors of the early Kirtland saints would once again arise and make Kirtland an important part of the church. 

Later that night we went to the Kirtland Historic church sites to tour them.  Lafe had been there so many times that he prompted the sister missionaries on the things they needed to say.  One of the Sister guides was a young woman from my YSA ward that I started her mission papers and she was in the ward when she received her call.  It was fun to see Sister Langlois.  Of course, since this was Lafe’s first area, he made sure she knew which people he needed her to stop in and visit and nurture.  Only the four of us were on the tour.  And, it was the last tour of the night.  We took our time.  We were able to ask questions.  Lafe was able to explain extra things to us.  Another aspect of Lafe’s personality came out while we were on the tour.  He told one of the sisters that the only door he hadn’t been behind in all of historic Kirtland was one in the Newel K Whitney home.  They let him open it and go inside.  (Then the next day, the only place he hadn’t been in the Kirtland temple was the bell tower.  It is normally locked.  But, when we went through our tour, again the only ones on the tour, it was open and he slipped in there to look.)  We stopped in the upper room of the Newell K Whitney store, the school of the prophets, and talked about our feelings for the Savior and what happened in that room.  It was sweet to be there with Hannah and Lafe.  The missionaries let us sit alone in the room.  Lafe shared some of the hard times of his mission and how that room was a foundation for getting him past the 6-month mark when he was questioning and wondering if he should come home.  I’m glad we were able to share those thoughts and feelings.  There are so many foundational things that happened in Kirtland.  And, there are so many journal entries that verify the many glorious things that happened.  It is not just a fairy tale that was made up.  It was real people, having real experiences that set the foundation for us to carry on the work of salvation.  And, it was so gratifying to see Lafe as part of that work.  

We did do two touristy things, in addition to having Lafe tour us around his mission, and the other of those was attending the Cleveland Indians Major League Baseball game against the Colorado Rockies.  So fun to be in Progressive field, right in downtown Cleveland.  The game was almost full.  Do people just drop work and attend a noon game on Wednesday?  Who works in Cleveland when the Indians/Cavs/Browns have a game?  We cheered the Indians through 11 innings with the score tied 2 to 2.  However, we had to leave to make it back to Kirtland, so luckily, we didn’t see the Rockies pull ahead by a run to win the game.  We ate peanuts and sang the 7^th inning stretch song.  It was fun.  We also took pictures of the Cleveland sign and the LeBron Wrap on the large building next to Quicken Arena.  We walked the streets of Cleveland and then headed home.

Love, Tracy, Pat, Lafe and Hannah (and Clyde)

President and Sister Brown

School of the Prophets

Sterchak's

Abby Sterchak

Seana Beavers from the Toledo Ward

Elder Frandsen Returns Home

Elder Frandsen Comes Home

Lafe was really tired and trying not to let on that was the case.  He was so torn about coming home that he barely slept the nite before he left.  In fact, he stayed up later talking to President Brown about the future and what he should expect.  I loved President Brown’s advice:  He said to ‘Go home.  Don’t go back home.’  Lafe has taken that to heart.  He is not the same person he was when he left.  And, he doesn’t want to ‘go back’ to being the same person he was.  Instead, he is coming home to move forward.  They had to be at the airport by 5:30 for their 7:00 flight.  And, he couldn’t fall asleep thinking about coming home.  So, he was working on adrenaline when he arrived. 

It was so sweet.  We made sure we left plenty early to be there for him.  I didn’t want him coming down the escalator without anyone waiting for him.  Paul and Mary and the kids were the first ones at the airport.  And, it was a good thing they were.  There were 29 missionaries released from Cleveland that day.  And, 9 of them flew into Salt Lake City.  There were many people and many signs awaiting many missionaries when Lafe arrived.  Lafe sat toward the front of the plane.  And, since he was a Spanish-speaking Elder, he didn’t go out with most of them.  So, he didn’t wait for the other elders but was one of the first to come down the escalator.  

An adoring crowd greeted him.  Pat made up signs for each of the grandkids to hold with pictures of Lafe on his mission.  Stephen made a large sign, reminiscent of the sign Lafe was holding when he came home entitled ‘Welcome home Pig-dog.’  We all started to cheer when we saw his face looking down at us.  He came directly to Pat and just hugged her while they both sobbed.  He held her for almost three minutes.  Then he did the same for me.  It was so sweet. He really appreciated our support on his mission.  And, he really changed his fundamental focus and was so thankful for that change.  We have loved having him on a mission.  It has brought us joy and happiness each week as we awaited and then read his letters.  It has given us hope and increased love as we have prayed for him multiple times a day for two years.  And, even though the prayers for our children will never stop, there is something special about praying for a missionary that brings you together as a couple.  

Abby was the first to break the airport roping system and run to Lafe.  She threw her arms around him.  Then one by one he hugged each nephew and niece and then brother, sisters and in-laws.  His eyes were red.  His smile continual.  And, Pat and I just soaked it all in.  We took many pictures.  We talked a mile a minute.  We picked up the luggage and decided it was time to move on.  We had reserved a room at Brick Oven Pizza in Provo where we could all eat and not have to clean up after a meal at home.  And we needed to leave in time to make it for our reservation. 

Pat and I drove Pat’s car to the airport.  And, since it had seven seats, we decided the oldest from each family, along with Hannah, would ride back in the car with him.  Michael, Mack and Aaron were our passengers. (Edie wanted to ride with her cousins her own age.)  As we were driving, Aaron asked Lafe what his favorite memory was of his mission.  And, Lafe just started sobbing again.  That happened intermittently until he went to bed that nite.  

Lafe looked around him as we drove home and noticed the changes here and there.  But, mostly he couldn’t get over how brown and dry it was.  He has lived in the lush lands of Ohio for two years.  And, after going back there for a week, I can see what he means.  There isn’t a brown spot in Ohio—at least not one that I saw.  He looked up at the mountains.  They seemed familiar.  He kept looking at the kids.  They seemed familiar.  

And, since Pat had sent him many pictures while he was gone, I suppose he wasn’t as shocked as he could have been.  His suburban was definitely familiar.  Jonny and Mel were driving it since they had used it to get everyone to and from Grand Junction.  Only, it must have a coolant leak somewhere.  It started to overheat.  We had to catch them and add antifreeze to it.  (Happened again this weekend while Lafe was driving to SLC to help Hannah buy and transport a couch.)  We ate pizza, talked and then it was time to come to Spanish Fork.  

President Dunn had specifically asked that he not go to his home before he was released.  So, he had us text him as we left Provo so he could meet us at the Stake Center.  We drove into Spanish Fork.  Many new stores along the US 6 corridor.  We drove along 11^th east and he saw the sign that said, “Welcome Home Elder Frandsen—with each of his family members having put their footprints on it with a personalized message.  He had us drive him to one of his friends, who had returned home two days earlier (He was one of the other two who had their farewells on the same day) and he ran in and said Hi to him.  

Then we drove to the church with just Lafe, Pat and I.  The rest of the family went home to wait for him to be released.  

President Dunn took him back to his office for an exit interview.  When he came back out and down the hall, he was sobbing.  President Dunn had us all express our feelings at the triumphant return of our son.  Then he said it was time for us, his parents, to remove his nametag.  At that, Lafe turned around, started sobbing again, and walked back down the hall.  After composing himself, he came back out and Pat and I each removed a nametag.  He was released.  We drove home.  

Pat and I each had our ‘Lafe Homecoming Projects’ we had done in preparation for his return.  One of mine was painting the playhouse.  Pat said he wouldn’t notice it.  But, he walked toward the back of the house before going in and said, “Oh, you painted the play house.”  And, I hadn’t even paid him to do that.  He noticed every project we had done.  And, he was thankful for all of them.  He went up to his room and just sat on the bed, not sure what to do.  He didn’t really want to unpack, as that made it seem even more real.  But, with family and friends and ward members dropping by, there wasn’t much time to unpack.  He kept his suit on for the whole day.  When it was time to go to bed, Michael slept in the same room.  In fact, it wasn’t until we were back out in Ohio that he actually had a bedroom to himself.  He said, “I haven’t slept alone for two years.  I’m not sure I can.”  But, we decided it was time.  Hannah had her own room.  

I was glad Rita and Joan made it possible for you to come back up for Lafe’s talk.  I know you could feel the special spirit that was there as Lafe talked.  Lafe prepared his talk several weeks in advance during his study time.  And, he asked his branch if he could talk his last Sunday to try it out.  He changed it a little before he gave it here.  But, just as it was sweet to have those three boys go out together, it was sweet to have them be there together and for our families to sing the same song we sang when they left.  I just soaked in everything Lafe at the church.  It is the last time as a parent I will be able to do that.  Pat went on home with everyone else to get dinner ready.  But, I sat down in the pews and just watched all the people, old friends, missionary companions, and ward members come up to talk to him.  He was so cognizant of them.  Each person got a bear hug and a comment.  Finally, as the chapel cleared out, I reminded him that he was the guest of honor at a dinner at our home.  So, we drove home again.  

Tracy